{"id":8728,"date":"2023-06-05T08:45:48","date_gmt":"2023-06-05T08:45:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.globalcompassioncoalition.org\/?p=8728"},"modified":"2026-07-21T21:01:34","modified_gmt":"2026-07-21T21:01:34","slug":"four-myths-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.globalcompassioncoalition.org\/fr\/four-myths-forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"Quatre mythes sur le pardon"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pardonner peut \u00eatre difficile. Lorsqu&#039;on est profond\u00e9ment bless\u00e9 par quelqu&#039;un, il est difficile de se concentrer sur autre chose que sa propre souffrance. Trahi, maltrait\u00e9, insult\u00e9, harcel\u00e9 ou maltrait\u00e9, notre monde int\u00e9rieur peut \u00eatre tellement boulevers\u00e9 que l&#039;on pense ne jamais pouvoir aller de l&#039;avant, et encore moins pardonner \u2013 et l&#039;on a l&#039;impression que la personne qui nous a fait du mal ne le m\u00e9rite pas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Le pardon est une action que nous pouvons entreprendre pour aider\u00a0<strong>nous-m\u00eames\u00a0<\/strong>Surmonter la douleur et le ressentiment que nous ressentons. Le pardon est souvent per\u00e7u comme un don fait \u00e0 l&#039;offenseur, alors qu&#039;en r\u00e9alit\u00e9, c&#039;est un cadeau que nous nous faisons \u00e0 nous-m\u00eames.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"mb-2 wp-block-paragraph\">Le pardon pr\u00e9sente plusieurs bienfaits pour la sant\u00e9. En voici quelques-uns\u00a0:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Le pardon est li\u00e9 \u00e0 la long\u00e9vit\u00e9 et \u00e0 un syst\u00e8me immunitaire plus robuste. Nourrir la col\u00e8re et la douleur maintient le corps dans un \u00e9tat d&#039;alerte constant (combat, fuite ou paralysie), et ce stress peut avoir des cons\u00e9quences n\u00e9fastes sur l&#039;organisme (hypertension, insomnie, tension, troubles digestifs, etc.). L&#039;\u00e9puisement professionnel peut \u00e9galement engendrer des difficult\u00e9s \u00e0 g\u00e9rer les \u00e9motions n\u00e9gatives.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Cela diminue votre risque de crise cardiaque. Les deux\u00a0<em>donner<\/em>\u00a0et\u00a0<em>recevoir<\/em>\u00a0Le pardon fait baisser la tension art\u00e9rielle,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu\/eli-finkel\/documents\/InPress_HannonFinkelKumashiroRusbult_PersonalRelationships_000.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u00e9tude de 2011<\/a>\u00a0D\u00e9couvert. Il contribue \u00e9galement \u00e0 r\u00e9duire le taux de cholest\u00e9rol.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Le pardon contribue \u00e0 une meilleure sant\u00e9 mentale et diminue l&#039;anxi\u00e9t\u00e9, la d\u00e9pression et le stress.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Les r\u00e9sultats sugg\u00e8rent que le pardon est corr\u00e9l\u00e9 \u00e0 une meilleure estime de soi, \u00e0 une humeur g\u00e9n\u00e9rale plus positive et \u00e0 des relations plus heureuses.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Je sais bien que lire une liste des bienfaits du pardon ne suffit pas \u00e0 le rendre plus facile. J&#039;ai constat\u00e9 que ces quatre id\u00e9es re\u00e7ues sur le pardon m&#039;ont aid\u00e9e \u00e0 surmonter les blocages qui m&#039;emp\u00eachaient de pardonner \u00e0 ceux qui m&#039;ont fait du tort et dont les cons\u00e9quences se sont fait sentir durablement sur ma vie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mythe #1\u00a0: Pardonner signifie cautionner ou excuser ce qui a \u00e9t\u00e9 fait.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pardonner, ce n&#039;est ni excuser ni minimiser ce qui s&#039;est pass\u00e9. Cela ne rend pas les actes commis acceptables. Il s&#039;agit avant tout d&#039;accueillir la douleur, de reconna\u00eetre et d&#039;assumer sa souffrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pardonner, c&#039;est se lib\u00e9rer de l&#039;amertume et ne pas la laisser nous endurcir, tout en reconnaissant que ce qui nous est arriv\u00e9 \u00e9tait injuste. On peut souffrir sans pour autant fermer son c\u0153ur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mythe #2\u00a0: Pardonner signifie qu\u2019il faut revenir \u00e0 la relation ant\u00e9rieure.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Un mythe r\u00e9pandu concernant le pardon est qu&#039;il faudrait renouer les liens avec la personne qui nous a offens\u00e9s. En r\u00e9alit\u00e9, pardonner n&#039;implique pas n\u00e9cessairement de se r\u00e9concilier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">La r\u00e9conciliation est diff\u00e9rente du pardon\u00a0; elle exige l\u2019accord des deux parties. Le pardon, quant \u00e0 lui, ne requiert que l\u2019implication d\u2019une seule personne. L\u2019autre personne n\u2019a m\u00eame pas besoin d\u2019en \u00eatre inform\u00e9e.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mythe #3 : Je ne peux pardonner que si l&#039;autre personne \" le m\u00e9rite \".\"<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Le pardon est un travail int\u00e9rieur. Il est possible m\u00eame si l&#039;autre personne ne reconna\u00eet jamais ses actes. Elle peut m\u00eame ne ressentir aucun remords. Se lib\u00e9rer de la rancune est b\u00e9n\u00e9fique pour soi-m\u00eame. La rancune est un poison. Le pardon peut emp\u00eacher la douleur de nous ronger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mythe #4\u00a0: Pardonner signifie que la douleur va dispara\u00eetre.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pardonner ne signifie pas forc\u00e9ment que la douleur dispara\u00eetra. Cette douleur peut nous accompagner pour toujours. Choisir de lib\u00e9rer l&#039;\u00e9nergie que l&#039;on retient en soi face \u00e0 cette situation ne gu\u00e9rira peut-\u00eatre pas la blessure originelle, mais cela peut apaiser les r\u00e9actions et les m\u00e9canismes de d\u00e9fense que nous avons mis en place pour y faire face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Et maintenant ?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Si vous lisez ces mythes et que vous souhaitez passer \u00e0 l&#039;acte de pardonner, vous vous demanderez peut-\u00eatre comment faire le premier pas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Le Greater Good Science Center de Berkeley a un cabinet de vulgarisation scientifique, le&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/ggia.berkeley.edu\/practice\/eight_essentials_when_forgiving\" rel=\"\">Huit \u00e9l\u00e9ments essentiels pour pardonner<\/a>, que je partagerai ci-dessous\u00a0:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Comment faire ?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dressez une liste des personnes qui vous ont profond\u00e9ment bless\u00e9\u00b7e et pour lesquelles il est n\u00e9cessaire de faire l&#039;effort de pardonner. Pour ce faire, demandez-vous, sur une \u00e9chelle de 1 \u00e0 10\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0\u00c0 quel point souffre-je du comportement de cette personne\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb, 1 repr\u00e9sentant la douleur la plus faible (mais suffisamment importante pour justifier le temps consacr\u00e9 au pardon) et 10 la plus forte. Classez ensuite les personnes de cette liste de la moins douloureuse \u00e0 la plus douloureuse. Commencez par la personne la moins douloureuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Consid\u00e9rez une offense commise par la premi\u00e8re personne de votre liste. Demandez-vous\u00a0: quel impact n\u00e9gatif cette offense a-t-elle eu sur ma vie\u00a0? R\u00e9fl\u00e9chissez aux dommages psychologiques et physiques qu\u2019elle a pu causer. Demandez-vous comment votre vision de l\u2019humanit\u00e9 et votre confiance envers autrui ont pu \u00e9voluer suite \u00e0 cette offense. Reconnaissez que ce qui s\u2019est pass\u00e9 est inacceptable et autorisez-vous \u00e0 ressentir toutes les \u00e9motions n\u00e9gatives qui \u00e9mergent.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&nbsp;Lorsque vous serez pr\u00eat, prenez la d\u00e9cision de pardonner. D\u00e9cider de pardonner implique d&#039;accepter ce que cela signifie\u00a0: faire preuve de mis\u00e9ricorde envers la personne qui vous a bless\u00e9. En offrant cette mis\u00e9ricorde, nous nous effor\u00e7ons d\u00e9lib\u00e9r\u00e9ment de r\u00e9duire le ressentiment (la rancune persistante) envers cette personne et, au contraire, de lui offrir bienveillance, respect, g\u00e9n\u00e9rosit\u00e9, voire amour.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&nbsp;Il est important de souligner que pardonner ne signifie pas excuser les actes de la personne, oublier ce qui s&#039;est pass\u00e9 ni bafouer la justice. Justice et pardon peuvent aller de pair. Autre pr\u00e9cision importante\u00a0: pardonner n&#039;est pas synonyme de se r\u00e9concilier. La r\u00e9conciliation est une d\u00e9marche de n\u00e9gociation visant \u00e0 r\u00e9tablir la confiance mutuelle entre deux ou plusieurs personnes. Vous pouvez choisir de ne pas vous r\u00e9concilier avec la personne que vous pardonnez.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Commencez par des exercices cognitifs. Posez-vous les questions suivantes sur la personne qui vous a bless\u00e9\u00a0: Comment \u00e9tait-elle dans sa vie durant son enfance\u00a0? Quelles blessures a-t-elle subies, inflig\u00e9es par d\u2019autres, qui auraient pu la rendre plus susceptible de vous faire du mal\u00a0? Quelles pressions ou quel stress suppl\u00e9mentaires subissaient-elle au moment o\u00f9 elle vous a offens\u00e9\u00a0? Ces questions ne visent pas \u00e0 excuser ou \u00e0 cautionner son comportement, mais plut\u00f4t \u00e0 mieux comprendre ses souffrances, ce qui la rend vuln\u00e9rable et humaine. Comprendre pourquoi certaines personnes commettent des actes destructeurs peut \u00e9galement nous aider \u00e0 trouver des moyens plus efficaces de pr\u00e9venir d\u2019autres actes destructeurs \u00e0 l\u2019avenir.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Soyez attentif au moindre mouvement de votre c\u0153ur qui vous fait \u00e9prouver la moindre compassion pour la personne qui vous a offens\u00e9. Cette personne a peut-\u00eatre \u00e9t\u00e9 confuse, s&#039;est tromp\u00e9e ou a eu tort. Elle regrette peut-\u00eatre profond\u00e9ment ses actes. En pensant \u00e0 elle, remarquez si vous commencez \u00e0 ressentir des sentiments plus doux \u00e0 son \u00e9gard.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&nbsp;Essayez de supporter consciemment la douleur qu&#039;ils vous ont inflig\u00e9e afin de ne pas la reporter sur la personne qui vous a offens\u00e9, ni m\u00eame sur des personnes innocentes, comme vos proches qui ne sont pas \u00e0 l&#039;origine de votre blessure. Lorsque nous sommes bless\u00e9s \u00e9motionnellement, nous avons tendance \u00e0 projeter notre douleur sur autrui. Prenez-en conscience afin de ne pas perp\u00e9tuer un cycle de col\u00e8re et de souffrance.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Pensez \u00e0 un cadeau quelconque que vous pourriez offrir \u00e0 la personne que vous essayez de pardonner. Le pardon est un acte de mis\u00e9ricorde\u00a0: vous faites preuve de mis\u00e9ricorde envers quelqu\u2019un qui n\u2019en a peut-\u00eatre pas fait preuve envers vous. Cela peut se traduire par un sourire, un coup de fil en retour ou un mot gentil \u00e0 son sujet. Pensez toujours d\u2019abord \u00e0 votre propre s\u00e9curit\u00e9 lorsque vous t\u00e9moignez de la bienveillance envers cette personne. Si interagir avec elle risque de vous mettre en danger, trouvez un autre moyen d\u2019exprimer vos sentiments, par exemple en \u00e9crivant dans un journal ou en pratiquant une m\u00e9ditation de compassion.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Enfin, essayez de trouver un sens et un but \u00e0 ce que vous avez v\u00e9cu. Par exemple, lorsqu&#039;on souffre des injustices d&#039;autrui, on r\u00e9alise souvent qu&#039;on devient soi-m\u00eame plus sensible \u00e0 la douleur des autres. Cela peut alors donner un sens \u00e0 la vie et inciter \u00e0 aider ceux qui souffrent. Cela peut aussi motiver \u00e0 \u0153uvrer pour pr\u00e9venir de futures injustices similaires.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Une fois que vous avez termin\u00e9 le processus de pardon avec une personne de votre liste, s\u00e9lectionnez la personne suivante et ainsi de suite jusqu&#039;\u00e0 pardonner \u00e0 la personne qui vous a le plus bless\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">En remettant en question ces id\u00e9es re\u00e7ues et en approfondissant notre compr\u00e9hension du pardon, souvenons-nous que pardonner est un acte profond de bienveillance envers soi-m\u00eame. En dissipant ces id\u00e9es fausses, nous nous donnons les moyens de gu\u00e9rir et de cr\u00e9er un espace propice \u00e0 une plus grande paix int\u00e9rieure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Sources :<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.appliedcompassionacademy.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Formation \u00e0 la compassion appliqu\u00e9e CCARE de l&#039;Universit\u00e9 de Stanford<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/greatergood.berkeley.edu\/article\/item\/the_new_science_of_forgiveness\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">La nouvelle science du pardon, par le Greater Good Science Center de Berkeley<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/ggia.berkeley.edu\/practice\/eight_essentials_when_forgiving\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Huit \u00e9l\u00e9ments essentiels pour pardonner, selon le Greater Good Science Center de Berkeley<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/greatergood.berkeley.edu\/article\/item\/eight_keys_to_forgiveness\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Les huit cl\u00e9s du pardon par Robert Enright<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/forgiveness-health-benefits_n_6029736\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">8 fa\u00e7ons dont le pardon est bon pour votre sant\u00e9 (par HuffPost)<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu\/eli-finkel\/documents\/InPress_HannonFinkelKumashiroRusbult_PersonalRelationships_000.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Les effets apaisants du pardon sur la tension art\u00e9rielle des victimes et des auteurs de violences, selon l&#039;Universit\u00e9 Northwestern<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hopkinsmedicine.org\/health\/wellness-and-prevention\/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Le pardon : votre sant\u00e9 en d\u00e9pend (Hopkins Medicine)<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forgiveness can be challenging. When we\u2019re hurt deeply by someone else, it\u2019s difficult to concentrate on anything other than our pain. When we\u2019ve been betrayed, abused, insulted, bullied, or treated [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":872,"featured_media":8729,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"0","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[290,385],"tags":[129],"class_list":["post-8728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-guides","category-relationships-guides","tag-relationships"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.5 (Yoast SEO v28.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Four myths about forgiveness - The Global Compassion Coalition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.globalcompassioncoalition.org\/fr\/four-myths-forgiveness\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Four myths about forgiveness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Forgiveness can be challenging. 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