In cognitively based compassion training, compassion is described as a feeling of warm hearted connection towards oneself and others that emerges when we encounter their suffering, leading to a desire to relieve the suffering of both ourselves and others.
The key concepts that as CBCT instructors, we frequently emphasise are “warm-heartedness” and “motivation”. The term compassion inherently implies taking action.
Teaching CBCT for over 4 years has increased my awareness of the concepts through interactions with adult students attending the class, from whom I believe I learn a great deal.
WHY COMPASSION TRAINING
While engaging with my current group, someone boldly asked, “Can you clarify the importance of compassion training?”
Before I explain how this group evolved, let me first provide you with the background of this group. This group comprises adults who have dedicated their lives to others.While some focus on education, others address issues such as violence and abuse, and some understand the impact of financial limitations on a child’s ability to pursue higher education. They all work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of others. What is the importance of compassion training for individuals like them?
My general experience with this group can be summed up that I will touch upon briefly
WORLD BEING BEGINS WITH WELL-BEING
Investigating the Difference Between Empathy and Compassion
Having empathy alone does not equate to having compassion. When we mentioned compassion to this group, we often asked them what it means to them and what words they associate with compassion. Is empathy sufficient, even though it is the most relatable for many of them?
My involvement with a group focused on this topic has allowed me to see how frequently we are swayed by our own difficulties and mistakenly believe that they are shared by others. Compassion towards others frequently places the needs and feelings of others at the forefront, leading to a drive to act in the best way possible for that individual.
As development professionals, we sometimes struggle to differentiate between what individuals truly require and what we believe they may need. The solutions or ideas that form the basis of our social enterprise thinking are often inspired by the needs and hardships of others. However, as a leader, this also presents an opportunity for me to pause and reconsider whether these motivations are truly rooted in the suffering of others, or if they also reflect my own personal struggles and challenges.
Another aspect that prompted me to realize that empathy alone does not necessarily result in empathic concern was a group discussion about self-compassion. During this conversation, we delved into the concept of self-compassion and its distinctions. At times, as individuals, we tend to dwell on something that troubles us, a personal struggle caused by someone else that has led to suffering. Although we recognize that it was morally incorrect, we persist in subjecting ourselves to self-punishment by constantly dwelling on the idea that someone wronged us and deserves to be punished, or feeling a strong urge to immediately transform that individual.
Reflecting personally, I realized that constantly dwelling on the need for change does not demonstrate self-compassion. This brought to mind a quote attributed to Buddha, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” While we may understand and acknowledge this concept, putting it into practice is undeniably challenging.
“Despite my seven years of practice, the importance of this message struck me profoundly when I taught self-compassion and for the first time I could connect it with self-compassion through this lens..”
As I wrap up my reflection, I’d like to mention that cognitively based compassion training is an 8- week program designed to enhance personal well-being and development. The journey of CBCT offers a fresh perspective on exploring compassion. Compassion has been a central focus of the Indo-Tibetan Buddhist tradition of “lojong” or “mind-training” for centuries. CBCT represents a fusion of the ancient “lojong” tradition and modern scientific knowledge. This approach integrates insights from both realms to create a program that is inclusive of individuals from diverse backgrounds, regardless of their religious beliefs. And this truly reflects on how CBCT defines compassion as “the warm-hearted concern that arises when we witness others’ suffering and are moved to alleviate it.”